🔗 Share this article Nighttime Hosts Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme Late-night's prominent comedians devoted their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "gold card," describing it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the affluent. Colbert's Pointed Spin Starting his program, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday tune about the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins each thing he handles." The subject was the new program that enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" tier for 5 million. An official website guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed." "A quick thought for you to rich applicants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the program is also meant to "get cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued. "The most thorough background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly qualify to be in America." "That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card." "This is a card that will let rich overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice." "It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Issues Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings during economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he said. Recently, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time." "He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?" Meyers finished by targeting conservative media defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.
Late-night's prominent comedians devoted their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "gold card," describing it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the affluent. Colbert's Pointed Spin Starting his program, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday tune about the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins each thing he handles." The subject was the new program that enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" tier for 5 million. An official website guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed." "A quick thought for you to rich applicants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the program is also meant to "get cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued. "The most thorough background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly qualify to be in America." "That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card." "This is a card that will let rich overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice." "It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Issues Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings during economic concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he said. Recently, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time." "He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?" Meyers finished by targeting conservative media defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.